Never ...Ever....Again....

This incident is a bit embarassing for me...but would share with u all anyhow...
Time : 1700hrs
Occasion : Cousin's Marriage
Tragedy : I10 stolen today morning
Purpose : Be in high spirits...coz life is good even if one had a sour break up weeks ago :)

Its friday evening....and i am in hurry to catch my cab on time. Cant afford to be late today. Its my cousin's marriage
and all my siblings have decided to have a blast (nothing much frnds...lots of vodka and vodka and vodka).

Pawan, aaj ghar jaldi pahuchna hai, I told my cab driver in excitement. He stared at me.

I reached my home just in time, as my family members were busy getting ready for the occassion.

Mamma paani to pila do, i said to my mom.....she ignored this completely....shadi mein cold drink pee lio... she said :)....

We reached venue, just few min drive from my home.

Time : 2000 hrs
Occasion : Cousin's Marriage
Tragedy : Dont expect tragedy after every 10 lines
Purpose : Locate siblings and b in high spirits, literally this time

Where is the gang? M i before time? What should i do in the mean?

Hmm, mom who is that girl, sunder, sushil, hot?
Kaun, Red Saari?
Haan haan, wohi....
Chup baith....jaa mere liye Tikki le kar aa..mamma shouted..

I went straight to the crowded stall, with my eyes appreciating the class work done by all the bueautician in the town. They do have some talent man.

Bhaiya, Red chutney bhi daal dena thodi.. :)

My phone rang as i handed over tempting plate of Tikki to my mom.

Hello,
Where r u? Tent ke peeche aaja.

I reached the real venue in seconds. And there stood my brothers, both elder to me with all specification(read Vodka + Juice) ready. Site was beautiful, better then the girl in Red Saari.

What took u so long?
Nothing, btw, whts ur fav color. Mine is Red

Time : 2115 hrs
Purpose : Try to remember my fav color

My phone rang again. This time it was Big Bro. He told me to come back and have dinner.
Lets wind up guys. Everyones waiting for us. I told my cousins as one of then handed over his cigrette to me.

I finished tht cigrette just in time when my Brother walked in.

Abey chal, khana bhi kha le, he said. I still think that he knew that we were smoking there. But he said nothing.
All four of us started walking to the table where my family was sitting.

Jeetu...Khana to kha le...We are getting late....mom said...
Aapne kha liya kya?....i said as i moved towards my mom

Blame it on those 4 pegs or my arrogance, i was way to too close to my mom. I sensed her facial expression changing. Pleasant smiling face was not there...

kya hua ma...

patak....her right hand landed staight on my left cheek....

Its not real...vodka..man..Chad gyi aaj to...

Tune cigrette pee hai kya...mamma shouted..

shit man...this is real for sure......i have been slapped right in the middle of a marriage with hundreds of prospertive wifes,father-in-laws, mother-in laws....

Ab yehi reh gya tha beta..

naah mamma, nhi...sach mein...(I noticed my bro standing right next to me)...bhai ne cigrette pee hogi.... i tried to find whether Red saari girl noticed what happened here...
It must have been a cracker....or DJ beat....nothing happened here sir...look into ur plate plz....is dat ur daughter dancing with bandwala...control her rather then looking at me....

And then, i saw Red saari girl, looking straight at me....

Love story ended....premature end...it cud have been something which cud have resulted in a similar kind of get-together....common girl it was just a slap...my mom loves me oderwise...

This episode is still fresh in my mind. Just cant forget it. Not because i got slapped in front of hundreds of people but as one of my close friend also say, it reminds me of the pain that my mom has undergone to see me in that condition.

Learning: Quit smoking or atleast never let ur mamma know that you smoke :)

Case of mistaken identity...

It has been raining heavily. Me and one of my frnd decided to take a walk around the place to get the first hand experience of the much publicized Mumbai monsoon.

As we step outside our shabby apartment, i was relieved. Yeh building giragi aaj,forecast my frnd.

Situation was real bad. Roads were water logged, acting as tributries to the nearest Nala. Most of the offices were shut down fearing another 26 July like event. Not many people were VEER enough to step out of der home and take a walk in this kind of weather. But both of us were finding open sky more safe then our about to fall, jarjar apartment or shud i say KHOLI...

We started taking pics from our Mobile phone fro our orkut profile :). And der we spotted one mahindra being pushed by 4 young kids in there early twenties. Out of instinct i started taking der pics having no idea wht is about to happen.

The guys were sporting enough to strike pose for us. My frnd started interacting with them as i stand a bit far from them.

After few secs these guys starting pushing the car again. And out of nowhere, one of the guy looked at me and shouted 'INDIAN JEEP - NOT GOOD WHEN IT RAINS'.

Indian jeep, ok it was indian. But why do he has to justify it to me. M i not indian. Or do i not look like one. Typical case of mistaken identity. And doston its not that i got these kind of reaction for the first time. I am very much used to these kind of stuff. From people asking me whats the train fare from Mumbai - Manipur to When will Nepal get its cricket team, i have faced all these questions and have answered them with elan.

One nice thing that has happened is that i was out of mumbai much before MNS started beating non-mumbaikars. They dont allow fellow countrymen to step foot in der land, just imagine what they would have done to a not-so indian looking person :)

Its over finally....

Common guys.... its a relief. I was not able to take it anymore. Yes its over.

No. I am not talking about Perfect Bride or Pati patni aur woh(disguisefull name).
The wedding season is over and man...what a relief. The time of year when 80% of indians are busy dancing in front of a Ghodi(Female horse) on the tunes of Brass bands, swinging indian currency in air with no respect....ohho..band karo yaar.And dont even ask me what rest of the 20% indians are doing. You know it better then me :).

One of my best friend got married this season and man, honestly rest of us(my other friends) have discovered a new kind of fear. Fear of getting married one day. Once one of your friend get married, life will never be the same for you. Mom ke pass ek comparison ka sadhan ho jaata hai. Dekh usne bhi kar li. Tu kab karega. Kahi tu gay to nhi...Pain again..

Believe me, the age that I am in right now is what i call Khunkhaar age. Everyday there a surprise in your email with a subject, 'Sweets at my desk. I got engaged'. And people believe me, majority of the times the sender will be a girl. Opportunity lost. Disappointment. Only one saving grace, Sweets are at her desk....chalo yaar...

By the way there one more bhojpuri channel coming up. Keep watching this space of more details.... :)

Kahi kuch atka hua hai

Kuch to theek nahi hai....kahi kuch atka hua hai....
I am feeling as if I am in Coma, i know what is happening around me, i can hear people,there is something unlike usual happening, i can sense the uneasiness spread around me but i cannot do anything about it. I cannot react. I am helpless.There are mixed emotions Loss,Betrayal,Helplessness. I feel small. I feel very tiny.

Sitting in his chair, this is the current mental state of Raj, who till now was a live wire, happy go lucky personality,smart and sharp minded. He, to everyones belief, used to be the epicenter of happening in his workplace. His professional life was going great and his personal life was even better. He was planning to tie the knot and have a peaceful settled life, but suddenly, life took a ugly turn.

Good morning, said Raj.

Very Good morning Raj. So shall we start our discussion, he said.

Sure, I have been waiting to this for quite sometime now. Its the right time to discuss on how well i am doing in my work.

Raj was surprised to get this unexpected untimely discussion request from his boss but being an optimist,he was hoping for the best.

Discussion went on smoothly for few minutes. Raj was expecting a salary hike this time.

Raj, don't take this personally but I have observed few things about you and have got feedback from your peers as well. 'You have attitude problem', he said to Raj. 'You are inducing negative vibes within the team'.

'Are you talking to me. No he cant be' , Raj said to himself

We have seen that tasks assigned to you usually get delayed and are of low quality, he continued.

'............'

Raj was feeling embarrassed. He has not encountered these kinds of questions before. Doubts started creeping in his mind. His confidence took a beating. He was not the same Raj that has entered the cabin door anymore.

Most of the time, you are taking personal calls at work.

'...........'

Raj was numb. His mind has fallen deep into a black hole. Neurons in his brains were statued. He could hear his heart beat.He could feel every ounce of oxygen he was breathing in.Is this a bad dream. Come on...wake up Raj. This cant be true.

Do you have anything to say Raj

'..........'

Raj, hey Raj

Ohh.....yes....sorry Hari.....

No problem Raj, Do you disagree with me?

Hell yes i disagree with you, you moron. Raj wanted to shout this back to him, but he didn't

I have always put in 100 percent in my work Hari sir. In a moment, Hari has become Hari sir to him. In his mind he has already distant himself from him

But we have raised the bar now Raj. I am sorry to say but we dont need your services anymore.

Raj was shattered to hear this statement. Never, ever in his wildest, craziest thoughts, he had imagined somebody will say these words to him

Lets make is easy for both of us. Sign in these papers and pack your bags.

Raj was getting LAYED OFF. It wasn't his fault at all. But destiny these days is not made by GOD, but by your boss. So what, he has spent sleepless night working alone like a dog, so what he has proved his loyalty and importance time and again. No one cares here.

He made it easy of him like he has always been doing it for his coworkers in his professional life. He thought its not worthy enough to fight for his cause here now.The writing was on the wall and he accepted it with a brave face.

Stepping out of the building, Raj promised himself that he will not change himself for others. He will remain the way he is and will take life by its collar. He know he will see through this struggle and come up as a WINNER in the end

......to be continued

Back-bencher in my Cab.....

"Jaise school mein back-benchers hote hai, apni cab mein bhi yeh teen back-benchers hai, jab dekho kuch na kuch chitter kutter bolte rehte hai. Ek bolne mein ustad hai, ek kuch na kuch plan banata rehta hai aur ek dono ko chadhata rehta hai".


These words were coming from one of my cab mate(manager in my company) and according to him i am the back-bencher in my cab who keeps on planning things which never take shapes.


I know most of us were back-benchers, in our school,collage,CAB. Maybe we were a pain in our teacher's ass but there got to be someone at the back and we volunteered/sacrificed ourself. Sitting at the back had its own share of fun and adventure. I still remember the days when I along with my back-bencher friends used to finish our lunch box mostly by the end of 1st period without our teacher having any air about it. All the laughs and giggles usually had their epicenter at the back. Not to forget those sleeping sessions when class got too boring.



Recently a study was carried out with the findings that most of the adventurous aka rambo-mithun-rajni etc kind of guys were back-benchers in their childhood.

The discussion went on in my cab till we passed this newly renovated Wine Shop, post which i lost track of it- reason, i started questioning myself whether 14 Aug is a dry day or not? Should i go ahead and buy my quota of Vodka for the next three days? That was my plan, which again as usual never took off. Came back home and had kisaan squash instead.


I want to confess that off late i have started enjoying smoking. It began with a puff and now i get these strong urges to go for smoke. I am trying hard to keep a tab on this really bad habit. Lets see how much i succeed.


Its 12:30. Got to go to bed. Kal office bhi hai. I am not lucky enough like one of my friend to blog during office hours :)

A Message from Indian

Message from a true INDIAN

Lagaan Vs Don no 1

M back. Curse ur senses...curse ur ISP provider...but m back with another one.
Last week was very hectic. Had to go visit desk of everyone at my office and forced them to read my new blog. Every mail send to me was having my blog's link as reply. I think i was successful in making atleast 2 guys read my blog. Alas, i have some readers now.

This sunday, it was a contest of lifetime for movie lovers. A real hard decision for them as they had to choose between Lagaan and Don No.1.
I myself was at the recieving end of this. I begged my family to watch Lagaan(Yes, the Aamir khan classic) but Lagaan didnt even stood a chance in front of Don No.1(Yes, the Nagarjuna super classic dubbed in 119 languages including konkani and manipuri) for them. But hey Heroine was good :).

Have to run now. Keep rocking.
(I have heard that even fakeiplplayer is following this blog closely. Copycats lol)